In an earlier post I looked at reasons why marriages fail. Let’s look at some more reasons. If we have been warned, hopefully we will avoid these pitfalls.
Wedding More Important Than Marriage
I think some women are so focused on the wedding that the marriage suffers. I may be wrong, but I’ve sensed that some women are in a hurry to get married just to have that Big Day. So much effort is expended on that day of days, that there is a tremendous letdown once the wedding is all over and you settle into a routine. Again, the debt that is built up to pay for this extravaganza is staggering, and immediately puts a strain on the couple. The wedding day should be special, but it must kept in perspective. The wedding is for a day – a marriage should be for a lifetime.
God Not in the Marriage
At every wedding I perform, I always say that it takes three people to make up a successful marriage: the man, the women, and God. Often God is left out, and the marriage suffers. You keep God in the marriage by: praying together, going to church together, seeking God’s will in all your decisions, and trusting God in all you do.
These will strengthen your faith and your marriage. If you want to raise the kind of kids that turn out to be upstanding citizens and godly adults, don’t keep God out of their lives. Teach them morals and ethics, read them Bible stories, and send them to Sunday school.
Don’t Understand One Another
Another problem is that men don’t understand women, and women don’t understand men. That’s why there’s a booming business in marriage books – anything to help us figure out the opposite sex! Reading a few of those books will help you understand how your spouse thinks.
Not only are we different as individuals, but men and women really do differ in how each views the world, how each communicates, and how each perceives and responds to different things.
It may not make sense to you, but that’s how he or she thinks and perceives things, which can be quite different from the way you do. Learning about these differences is definitely worth the investment in time. Two good books on the subject of the differences between men and women are “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” and “Men are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti.” If you haven’t read them, I suggest you do so.
In a future post I will discuss the needs of men and women in more detail.